To walk on stormy seas

“There is no life – no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.”

(J.Groban-“You raise me up”)

I looked at him and i couldn’t stop smiling. He was still sleeping, his blonde curled hair and the smile made him irresistible, but what made me smile was the way he was holding my pillow in his arms…

I rushed to the kitchen…scrambled eggs with bacon and pancakes with chocolate syrup and me…discovering that i can cook, enthusiastic like a child with a new toy.

-Hey…it smells delicious…you made all these?

He looked amazed and i felt proud of myself. The admiration i saw in his eyes made my heart jump with joy.

-Back to bed! I wanna bring you breakfast in bed! Go, go, go…

-Only if you’re coming with me, other wise my breakfast will be incomplete…

Breakfast in bed, with Mark…sounded like a dream come true.

-You like it? Or should i add more sugar on the pancakes? Mark…

-It’s delicious, absolutely delicious! I love everything you do…you’re spoiling me…No one…never…brought me breakfast in bed…But i feel guilty because you’re working so much…cooking, cleaning…And…what’s this? You broke a nail? Give me that little finger so i’ll kiss it…

-It’s no big deal! Mark, i’m so happy to do all these things…i feel so good, so healthy and alive!

-Yes, but i wish i could take more care of you, Belle…

The way he pronounced the shortcut from Isabel made me remember…

-I’m sorry…Isabel…what’s wrong? Did i said something to make you so sad…please, Belle, tell me…

-It’s just that…today…i mean, 21 years ago…on All Saints Day…my mother passed away…and i used to spend this day, every year, with my dad…She always called me Isabel, not Alicia…and sometimes she called me Belle…saying i’m the light of her life…

With no words, he took me in his arms. It was warm and i felt safe…i looked deep in his blue eyes, wishing to feel his kiss…i closed my eyes, trying to keep the memory of that warm moment deep in my heart.

-Why don’t you call him? Your father…i think he must be so worried…you left almost a week ago. Call him, you’ll feel better…just tell him “i love you”…it’s never too late…

He was right…i needed to hear my dad’s voice, the only parent i still have on this earth…I took the phone and dialed the number, unsure about what to expect. He answer in a few seconds.

-Dad…

-Alicia! Where in the hell are you? Have you lost your mind? Your husband is going crazy, threatening everybody…i can’t believe how selfish and insane are your decisions…

-I miss you…

-Come back home, Alicia! It’s an order! I think your need for attention is more than satisfied now, with the chaos you created!

-I love you, dad…

And he said nothing. The phone slipped from my hands as i felt drowned in tears. Mark took the phone from my hand, put it aside and held me so gentle, caressing my hair, till i felt better…

-No one loves me, Mark…

-Shhhhh…you are so beloved…and you don’t even know it. God loves you so much, He’s always holding your hand so you wont fall…He’ll never leave you and He’ll always gonna answer to your prayers. And there’s your mom…watching you from up above…visiting you in your dreams and making you feel protected…And here, on Earth…there’s me…i love you and i need you in my life…I know it’s not much, but i’m offering you my heart, my love…my life…Belle…please don’t cry…cause when you cry, Heaven cries with you…

His words, so smoothing, like he was talking to a scared child…and his eyes, blue like the sky, in that moment i felt i’m in Heaven…

-Mark…you’re so good…why are you so good to me?

-Because I love you!

-And why do you love me?

-Cause you’re sweet. And why are you sweet? Cause you have chocolate right here, on your upper lip…And why are your lips painted with chocolate? Well…i guess i need to taste in order to answer…

His lips pressed against my lips…parting and tasting, playing and teasing, making me feel so hungry for more…

-I love you, Isabel…you taste like honey and it’s addictive…promise me you’ll never leave me…you’ll never take away the light you brought to my life…

-I’ll never leave you! I rather die…I love you too, Mark. You saved my life and you gave me a meaning…a feeling of fulfillment and joy. And as long as God will allow me on this Earth, i will love you…every day of my life.

-Even if i can’t offer you the lifestyle you’re used to have? Belle, i’m not rich…

-Now you’re the silly one! Mark, can’t you see how happy i am? I’m smiling and singing and dancing in the house…like a teenager. I’m so in love…please…stop talking and kiss me again…you brought the Heaven into my life…

In the arms of the man i love, the rest of the world seemed formed by shadows…empty shadows. I’m his and he’s mine…against all the human laws…in the name of love, knowing now that only Light can heal, love and protect. And that i’ll never get lost in the darkness…

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