Light of my heart and soul

“A silent wish sails the seven seas
The winds of change whisper in the trees
And the walls of doubt crumble, tossed and torn
This comes to pass when a child is born”

(“When a child is born”)

How am i going to tell him? What if…my God, is almost Christmas…next year the Christmas will be so different…

-Alicia…baby, you know how upsetting it is to me when you do this! You heaven’t called me for hours and when i call you, you’re asking me to come here…in this church…

-You like it? The church…i just came here and i lost the track of time…I’m sorry, Phillipe…i went to see the doctor today and the tests took some time and the results…i forgot to call you…

-No, my love…i’m sorry…i should had come with you…i completely forgot about your appointment. You’re upset…i’m so sorry…but at least you saw the doctor. Did you told him all about last week? That you passed out twice…and that you’re not eating anything and the headaches, nightmares…

-Yes, i did…

-So, did he gave you some vitamins? Or is it just emotional…baby, let me see your eyes, they’re red, you cried…Tell me all about…

-I don’t know how to tell you…

-Alicia, honey…any treatment you may need…i’m right here beside you…

-No…there’s no cure for what i have…

He took my face in his hands and my tears appeared in my eyes beyond my control. He looked down with a sad expression and then his eyes just became empty…

-That’s why you wanted to see me here. In a church…To tell me how i’m gonna loose you…Know what? I hate HIM! Yes, your God…and HE’s not winning this time! Cause if HE’s taking you away from me…i swear…i will burn every single church…from the ground…i will destroy every single trace of HIS presence on this world! Alicia…say something, baby…

-I didn’t meant to…oh, Phillipe…now you have to promise me two things…

-Anything, my love…

-First one: that you’re gonna love her, if is a baby girl…The second one: you’re gonna spare one church, cause we need it for the baptism…

-Are you saying that…

-YES! My love…you need to lower your voice, cause your son is listening to you, right now…Or your daughter…the doctor said is way to early to tell…we’re only 6 weeks old…

He took me in his arms and lifted me slowly and started to kiss me…dancing with me in the church…And when he put me down, i saw him kneeling at my feet, looking up at me…his eyes filled with happy tears…a light i never saw before.

-Phillipe…i’m sorry for scaring you like that…i didn’t knew how to tell you…i’m still in shock. Here…the doctor gave me this picture…wanna see our baby?

He helped me to sit down and sat next to me…his hands were trembling and when he took the picture he kissed it…

-Look at this tiny heart…

-Alicia…princess…is it real? My son…my precious baby…he’s so tiny now…tell me everything…you’re alright? And the baby?

-We’re both doing great. Me…i felt so sick because of the hormones, the doctor said is normal, he gave me something to help me with the morning sickness…And the baby…is perfect…he’s strong like his father…

-And handsome like his mother…my love…do you love me? Here…give me your hands, they’re so cold…from now on you are my one and only priority…i can’t believe i missed the first echography…what kind of man am I? What if the baby wont like me?

I started to laugh, with tears in my eyes…happy tears…

-Mon amour…the baby will love you…like i love you…You’re my man, my one and only…And we’re gonna be parents…imagine me, being a mother…

-The most beautiful, loving and sweet mother in the entire world! And i’m the luckiest guy ever…please, tell me you’re never gonna leave me…

-I swear it…you and the baby are my world…my life…i was a fool, crazy and selfish and you forgave me and you took me back home and now…now i have something to live for…my baby…ours…

He kissed me again and again…

-Princess, is cold in here…let’s go home, i wanna take care of you…you need to eat and sleep well…you’re carrying the most precious child in the entire world…my son…

Today i cried…I thought i’ll never cry again, i thought i’ll never feel…till i heard a tiny but strong heart beat…my child…And from that moment nothing mattered anymore except for this amazing love i’m feeling inside my heart and soul. My baby…he brought The Light back in my life, he’s the living proof that GOD does exists…And that HE’s always ready to forgive, to love and to give us a new chance…

The end. 

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Touched by an Angel

“Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory’s so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be…”

(J. Groban-“To where you are”)

Lacoste, Provence (France)

-It’s so quiet in here…

-Isn’t it beautiful, Alicia? Look at the colors, so bright and alive…this place has a life of himself. If you listen carefully you might hear the wind whispering trough the lavender fields…

-Are you sure is not le Marquis de Sade, telling us to get away from his village? i asked smiling to Phillipe.

-We’ll see, my beauty…i have a surprise for you…

-Other that visiting his castle? It’s a lifetime visit, considering that it’s not opened to public. You really have friends in high places, Phillipe.

-Baby…promise me you wont run away…i arranged for us to stay over night at the castle. Hope you’re not scared of the rumors…

-What rumors? My God, i’m going to sleep in the same place where le Marquis de Sade…

-In his home, my love. And yes…some terrible things happened there. I know how sensitive you are, Alicia…And there’s a downside to this: i have to do something before we’ll get there. Is a part of the surprise…

-It’s alright…i saw a small church, i could visit that place while you’re doing…you know what.

-No, don’t go to the church…it’s not even catholic. Look, there’s a bistro…they have a great coffee and i’m back in an hour. I hate leaving you alone…

-I’ll be fine…go and arrange my surprise!

He kissed me and made me promise that i won’t go anywhere else than the bistro. And i won’t talk to the local people. And i won’t say a word about the place where i’m sleeping tonight. Overprotective…i said to myself.

Of course…i always do what i’m told not to do…

The small church doesn’t seemed catholic, it had the look of a protestant place. And also seemed empty…i found a place to stay and admire the ray of light dancing to the walls. The feeling of peace and love was so strong…i almost felt like a child in his mother’s arms. My mom, i missed her so much. And what if…I looked around me…no one could hear me, so i started to talk looking to the blue light from the window…

-God, i know i don’t pray and you know how much i avoid churches…Maybe You’re upset with me, but if You can hear me…i miss her. Mom, if you’re there, it’s Isabel. Remember how you used to call me? I know it’s been a while…sometimes i can’t even remember how you looked and that scares me. Do you remember me? I was 5 when i saw you for the last time…I’m a grown woman now. You know, mom, sometimes i feel like a little girl angry and scared and all i want is for you to hold me tight…or at least to give me a sign that you still love me…

I felt warm salty tears running down my face and i realized i’m on my knees looking at the sky…Just when i tried to get up on my feet, i heard a sound of steps behind me. I turned and there it was…this man was here all the time. He was just looking at me with the most beautiful light-blue eyes i ever saw in my life. Curly blonde hair and a disarming smile…I felt like my face is turning red…

-I apologize…i heard you talking and i didn’t want to make you feel bad…your words touched me and i just couldn’t go. I’m really sorry. I’m Mark…you must be Isabel?

-It’s actually Alicia  Isabel. My mother used to call me Isabel. I guess you hear it all…i just made a complete fool of myself…

-No, don’t say this! I was afraid i’m gonna start to cry…i grew up without my parents, they died in a car accident and i miss them terribly. I’m sorry, don’t know why i’m telling this to you.

I looked in his eyes, he seemed so friendly and honest…for the first time in my life i felt completely lost in front of a man…not knowing what to say or do.

-So, you’re from Lacoste? i asked thinking that’s the most stupid thing i can say…

-No, Isabel, i’m from London. I work in a hospital and i’m also a Red Cross missionary…I’m here with a few friends visiting La Cote d’Azur. And to be honest, i saw you going in this church and i just couldn’t stop following you here…now  i made a complete fool of myself…

I smiled to him wiping away my tears…

-When i first saw you…your eyes…you look like an angel and for a brief moment i though…

-That i’m an angel? Isabel…that’s the sweetest thing i ever heard. No…just an ordinary man. Can i give you my phone number? I really want to talk to you again…

When he opened his wallet i saw there a picture. It was Jesus and His Heart…

-What’s there? I had one like this when i lived with my mom…

-What? Divine Mercy? It’s something i always have…it makes me feel more in peace with myself, knowing how much He loves me…You had one too?

-Yes, and a necklace too, with a medal with two hearts and a few letters written…can’t remember. My mom always said i’m protected wearing it…but when me and my dad moved away…he didn’t allowed me to take them…i remember how much i cried…

-My God…Isabel, i had no idea…

He took me in his arms holding me tight. I felt like i never wanna let him go…my mind was telling me he’s a stranger but in my heart i felt like he’s what i’m searching for so long…

-I wanna give you this…

He gave me the little picture with Jesus…the Divine Mercy…

-And i think you need also this…

In that moment i saw it…he was wearing the same medal…the memories came back with a force that took my breath away…

-Mark, this is…

-The Miraculous Medal. And yes…you are protected when you wear it, your mom was right. It’s yours now…

-No, Mark, i can’t…you don’t even know me, how can you give me something so precious?…

-I have this feeling that you need it more than i do…I don’t know why, i just feel this…anyway, i have another one at home, so we’ll wear the same Medal, like a connection between us. Now…do you want me to help you with the necklace?

He touched my hair and slowly lift it. His fingers touched the back part of my neck…i tried really hard to not let him know the sensation he was creating in my body…I turned slowly, looking in his eyes. I wanted to thank him but i felt like crying…

-Now it’s perfect…let me wipe away these tears.

He touched my face so gently and pulled me closer to him…he leaned on me still looking in my eyes. I felt my heart beating so fast as he pressed his lips on mines kissing me with a tenderness i never felt before. I touched his curly hair letting him kiss me with passion, feeling my body trembling and my heart ready to explode…it felt like my first kiss…like my first love.

-Isabel, i don’t know how or where…but i have to see you again…promise me you won’t forget…

-Never…i’ll never forget you or the Miracle you made me live today. I…

-tell me…

-I love you…

He took me in his arms again and held me for a few more precious moments before he left…taking my heart with him.

(to be continued)