Over the edge

“Tears of love, tears of fear
Bury my dreams, dig up my sorrows
Oh, Lord why
the angels fall first”

(Nightwish-“Angels fall first”)

-So…the red one or the black one? Or do you like the purple one? Mon amour…take a good look and help me choose…you know i’m helpless when it comes to decisions…

-Alicia…you look stunning no matter what you’re wearing under your clothes…let’s buy them all…

-No…you’re not getting away with this…come closer and feel them…let’s start with the red one…

I took his hand and leaded him in the small dressing room. We were surrounded by mirrors and, a few steps away, people were buying things…I leaded his fingers on the cup of my bra…

-Feel it…is soft and smooth and it’s a perfect fit…now, what do you say about the panties? Here…the red silk gives me the sensation of warmth, can you feel it too?…is like when you touches me…there…i’m melting inside…

He let a soft deep moan escaping from his lips while i pressed my body against his…

-Baby…what are you doing to me…and we’re in public…

-I’m just trying to decide…maybe i should show you the black one…please, can you help me…i need to take off these…

-Alicia…no…let me…

He pushed me gently against a mirror and pulled my hair exposing my neck…laying small kisses all along my neckline, going down on my shoulders…biting softly…i used my hands to grab his hair…i closed my eyes letting the pleasure to take control…

-Baby…i think we’re absolutely gonna buy those panties…they are a little wet…and i’m planning to make them even more wet…now don’t move…i guess you were right about melting inside…

I moaned louder biting my lip while he continued to kiss me all over my body. The sensation was overwhelming and feeling him inside made me lose my self control.

-You are perfect…baby…tell me if you want more…

-Yes…please…don’t stop…

-What…what do you want me to do to you? Say the words…

-I want…i need…make love to me…Phillipe…please…

Maybe the excitement of being nearly caught, maybe the red underwear, maybe the feeling of being on the edge all the time lately…maybe all these combined…i felt like falling without control…without even knowing when it all stopped…

He was smiling, stroking my back, touching my face…

-Phillipe…it was awesome…i can’t even speak…

-Sweetie…i’m crazy about you…remind me to take you to shopping more often…

-Yes…and to satisfy my needs constantly…now how can we go out without being caught?

He started to laugh  and helped me get dress.

later, at the hotel

-so…my handsome, brilliant and, not to forget, rich husband…saved me from trouble again…Phillipe…what did you told to that girl about my wet panties?

-the truth…that i seduced you in the dressing room…

-noooo…you didn’t! you told her that…we had sex in public?

-of course…and i also told her that you almost passed out because of the intensity of your orgasm…and i asked her to clean the mirror…and to make these dressing rooms bigger…

-but…we could had been arrested…

-No one arrests my adorable wife! Believe me, baby, she did cleaned the mirror…and she said “thank you, Sir” at the end…

-so…do you want me to tell you “thank you Sir”? You kinda made me beg you…and that made things even hotter…

-I just want you to be yourself…you’re changed…somehow…and i’m not sure if you’re happy…but i know I am…Alicia, i’m amazed…it’s like all i ever dreamed…you’re giving me now and is perfect…the control i need to have…

-You need to control me in order to love me…you need to feel a power over me…i know it now and i accept it…willingly…your happiness means everything to me…if you need to dominate me…i’ll give you total control…

-because you love me?

I nodded.

Because i don’t care anymore.

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I was once like you are now…

“But take your time, think a lot

Think of everything you’ve got,

For you’ll still be here tomorrow

But your dreams may not…”

(R. Keating-“Father and son”)

Sometimes, people are like songs…the good ones never get old. There are rythms that could last only a summer, but what a lovely summer…And songs that can last a lifetime and they keep comming back to your heart when you least expect it…

It was one of those days when everything you do is not enough…The foto shooting went from bad to worst, like a never ending nightmare. Of course, when i said that nothing can go wrong anymore, one of the models just had a nervous breakdown. Enough is enough i said to myself, looking at the sunny sky…And in the middle of this desaster, i fund myself smilling. Thinking of that beautiful stranger from my virtual world…

-You seems so distracted today…noticed Peter as we were driving home

-Not really, just a little tired (and sad, and sick, and bored, and annoyed…), i think i need a break…

-A break? But you never stop…and, by the way, is a long time since i saw you so relaxed during a crisis situation…

(I don’t care…i wish i could runn away…i’m always so damn strong that some day i might believe my own lies…)

My silence made him realise that i wasn’t even listening to him. He looked at me with a shocked expression:

-I’m starting to believe that you think of someone else…You’re so absent that i may think you’re inlove. Some avatar from that stupid game? You’re tired because you hang out with those…never mind. I know exactely what you need: shopping…Let’s go and find some nice things to wear…

He stoped the car. Loosing myself in the crowd was really helpfull. Maybe he’s right…this is my life, forget all and go shopping…

I bought two lovely dresses, the textures like silk, the colors looked natural and it felt so good talking, smilling, concentrating on simple things. I was about to leave the mall, when i could feel that someone is watching me. Instinctively i turned my had on that direction. A nice old woman (or should i say, a lady) was looking on my dresses, on me, back on my dresses…I smiled at her, encouraging her to come closer.

-My dear, how are you going to wear those dresses? They reveal a lot…You know, some things you better keep for your man…

I smiled again, while she continued:

-You look like a model, maybe not so skinny like the fashion demands (she’s right! i don’t have the anorexic look). I was one too, in my youth years (yes, her features were still beautifull, regardless the years). Beauty is not forever…you, youngs, talk about having fun all the time, when you’ll be like me this fun will be so meanningless…If you got a good man, keep him, start a family with him…look at my son, still single…

Someone interrupted her, taking her gently by her shoulders. Could he be the single son of her’s? i asked myself still fascinated by the speach…

-Please, excuse my mother, i hope she was not disturbing too much…it’s a delicate age…sometimes she say upsetting things, but she has a good heart…

I assured him that speaking to his mother was interesting and refreshing. They left, saying good bye in a perfect british way…

And for a moment, i though about the choices i made so far…wishing i could have them both: a ballad for a lifetime and the rythm from a lovely summer…