Pieces of my broken dream

“I wish I could just make you turn around,
turn around and see me cry
There’s so much I need to say to you,
so many reasons why
You’re the only one who really knew me at all”

(Phil Collins-“Against All Odds”)

-Let me do this…you know how much i love to feel the touch of your hair…so smooth…like silk…

I smiled at him. Phillipe started brushing my hair with slow moves, touching it like it were something precious. I felt so relaxed and it was a new sensation of being safe.

-I could get used to that…

-You should, sweet princess, cause i’m gonna take care of you…baby…i never felt so much love. You’re so beautiful and you’re all mine…

He stopped for a moment and turned me to face him. He had something in his hands…

-A gift? For me? What is it?

-It’s a reward. For you, for being so sweet and good and acting so responsible. It’s yours, open it.

I took the ribbons off and my heart jumped with joy seeing a beautiful reply of the house from Provence…made of wood. Like a fine piece of jewel.

-It’s beautiful! Thank you, i love this home and now i can carry it with me anywhere i’ll go!

I jumped in his arms, giving him a kiss.

-Baby, i wanna see that spark in your eyes all the time! It’s yours! I know how much you like the house and we share a very precious memory there. And i don’t want you to feel like a guest…you’re my world, my only love…

-Wait a minute! Phillipe…you’re talking about the house…the real house? You wanna give me the real house? But why…i cannot accept it!

He started to laugh.

-Of course is about the real house! And you can keep the little one too, it has a dedication written on the roof. See? “For Alicia, the love of my life, the light of my heart and soul!”.

I felt overwhelmed.

-Phillipe…i…i don’t deserve it…i mean…it’s yours and i…i’m sorry…i can’t…

-Ssssshhhhhsss! Of course you can! It would mean the world to me if you’ll accept my gift. So, whenever we’re going to Provence, we’ll stay at your place…

-I…i don’t know what to say…

He took me in his arms and kissed me, grabbing my chin and looking into my eyes with a feeling of tenderness.

-Well, you don’t have to say anything. Just sign the papers…baby…what’s with the tears?

-Why…after all that happened…

-Because i can and i want! And because i love you, i wanna give you a shelter, a feeling of being safe and it’s the only way i know how…And because you were a good girl…no phone calls, no internet, no going out without my permission…you followed all the rules and i know it’s not easy for you. That’s why! And for renouncing to Second Life…

-I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy. If Second Life is a problem…

-Baby…i hate that game! And the though of you being with someone…but you’re starting to forget, right?

-I never tried again…after you deleted my account…

-I know…

-Phillipe…my phone…all my conversations are recorded?

-Yes. And i placed video cameras in the apartment…and your laptop is checked daily. And i hired someone to observe you when you’re out of the house without me. It’s the normal thing to do. Alicia…i’m protecting what’s mine. All i want is for you to forget him…forget Second Life. I want you to do it willingly…but there’s always another way…

I stood quiet in front of him, thinking of a warm place with warm arms wrapped around me…

-Baby, what’s wrong?

-I’m cold…i’m tired and cold…and i can’t fight this feeling. It scares me to feel so cold…

-What do you mean…cold? Your skin is warm, hope you’re not getting sick…

-Phillipe…it’s like i’m in the middle of a dream, a beautiful dream. And then something is breaking and i feel like walking on glass and cutting myself with every step i’m taking. And the pain is cold…unbearable cold.

-Alicia…look at me. Stop talking like this…stop crying. If you’ll follow the rules, like you did so far, maybe i’ll think about giving you more freedom. What do you say, baby? It’s up to you…now be a good girl and sign the papers, this house needs a new owner! Good…this is the way i like it…you, doing what you’re told to do…princess…you makes me very happy!

-Thank you, Phillipe. I’m sorry for being so sensitive…of course i understand and i’ll do whatever it takes…

-Baby, it’s all i need to hear. And Alicia…don’t ever try to lie or to cheat again! Remember who you belong to…

I closed my eyes, still feeling tired and cold. His arms around me…he loves me, he wants to give me his whole life. In return i only have to give away my freedom…it’s not that hard…

But forgetting…it’s just impossible…How could i forget him? My love…the man who made me dream and love and fly without wings…When every step i’m taking, every song, every dance, every place…reminds me of him. Leaving him without even saying good bye…how could i ever forget or forgive myself? Every night i feel like pieces of a broken dream are haunting me¬†and the days…the days are just empty…and there’s no one…absolutely no one who could hold me and love me the way he used to…

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