Forever

“I’ll be there for better or worse
till death do us part
I’ll love you with every beat of my heart.”

(All 4 One-“I swear”)

I know it’s not easy…but, dear God, this couldn’t be too hard for you…I’m asking for a chance…to come back to where it all started…because this road i took it’s much too hard to follow…and i wanna go back in time and change it all…Lord, there’s so many things i wanted to say to You, i feel my soul so heavy…

Sometimes i feel like i’m lost in the darkest night, leaving behind the Light…Leaving You behind…my faith and my beliefs…i miss having faith…i miss feeling hope, i miss praying with all my heart…

I still remember those warm nights…being a child and watching the stars. And my mother saying i’m the most bright star in her life. And now…she belongs with the stars…God, please tell me she’s there, next to all the angels and saints, because Heaven is the only place where i could imagine her to be…

I miss her every morning…every evening and…my Lord…in the darkness she’s the only light i see sometimes. God…don’t let me lose myself in this night…guide me back into the Light, show me the right path…And if this is Your choice…if my life is the way You decided to be, please Father, give me peace of mind…

-Hey…what’s going on here? These are not tears of joy…

Phillipe took me in his arms, holding me tight and it felt good. I wiped away my tears, smiling at him.

-I can’t believe we’re actually doing it! I know it supposed to be secret…but i feel like i wanna shout out loud: i’m getting married!

He started to laugh, and i saw the relief in his eyes.

-For a moment i thought you changed your mind. And baby…the feeling was unbearable. But i still need you to tell me why were you so sad before. And be honest…

-I think i’m just overwhelmed by emotions. I imagined this since i was a child and now…and i have no one to share with…you know, i miss her now, more than ever…

-Your mother?

-Yes…i’m so afraid, Phillipe…

He took my face in his hands, looking deep in my eyes with the most gentle look i ever saw.

-Baby, believe me, if i could…i would do anything to make you happy…but some things are beyond our decisions. We don’t really have the free will…But there’s no need to be afraid…i’m here and i’ll never leave you…

-What if i’ll be the worst wife ever…what if i’m not made for this type of life…and maybe in time you’ll regret it…

He stopped me from talking kissing me with a tenderness and passion i always dreamed.

-Now it’s better? You are the sweetest girl i ever met…but sometimes, baby, you’re so silly…Alicia, i love you. You will be my wife and the mother of my children…and the most important person in my life. Forever…

-Phillipe, i want you to know something. Regardless of how foolish i behaved lately…or how irresponsible i was…from the moment i’ll became your wife, i’ll be completely committed to you…I will love you and respect you and i’ll try really hard to follow your rules…

-I know you will. So…no more tears. There are things in life you cannot change…people call it destiny or “the choice of God”. From now on i wanna be the creator of your destiny…me, someone who loves you and knows what’s best for you. And you’ll be happy and fulfilled! The only thing i’m asking from you is to let me guide you…

-yes, i will…

He had a brightness in his eyes, and his smile told me how much it means to him…

dear God, give me faith…so i could be safe…

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